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Contra - Megamix

Here's a remix of one of the bestest games on Nintendo ever -- Contra! Beeatch, you know you played it. The laser looked like a breadstick and the walls looked like graham crackers. This is a small file so download it! It's in '.IT' format but Winamp plays it.

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This one's for you, Jhon. // Saturday, May 5 2018 @ 8:07 PM / brian
John Foster was one of my oldest and greatest friends. Unfortunately, he passed away on April 17th, 2018. Much like everything posted on this site, cancer sucks and can fuck right off. was John's creation back in 2002. A prototype of social media years before Myspace and Facebook existed. It was a time we could all spend hours online fucking around and entertaining ourselves with self-deprication and humor. I loved every minute of it. I'd give anything to get one of those minutes back with my friend. John was a talented, musical son of a gun. I admired his writing style and took inspiration from it on many occassions. He would gladly listen to any bullshit going on in my life and talk about it because he genuinely cared. Our hobbies, interests and personalities were so similar; I feel like I've lost not a friend, but a brother. That being said, I know in my heart that John would tell me to get the fuck up and move forward. So that's what I'm going to do.

I'm leaving everything up as it was back in 2003, with only some slight modifications to eliminate dead links. I know years down the line, one of you former Losercorp bastards will type this site in your browser and hit enter, so feel free to hit me up. My email address throughout the site is current. I'd love to hear anything you have to say about our fellow loser and can put anything on here for you if you'd like.

As for you, John. Sleep peacefully, old friend. We'll jam soon. Also, give me my Toxic Teddy back.


Tom is bored and tired // Sunday, December 16 @ 6:52 PM / tom
Read the title.
I'm waiting for my mom to get off the phone, so I can call jhon and we can go get food.
Coo. She's off.


Enchilada, said the bridge // Sunday, December 16 @ 4:24 PM / brian
New MP3 of the moment...well it isn't an MP3, it's an IT. No not an IT, the file is IT. Ya know, '.IT'. Damn it, work with me here! And make sure you go to Overclocked Remix. That's where I jacked it from, they have hundreds of video game remixes and the like. Rock on. Snake Man is da man!


Max, Hampsters, and Dolphin Sex // Saturday, December 15 @ 11:00 PM / tom
Review of the weekend so far:

We're beginning to think Roberto's narcoleptic. I don't know anyone else who can fall asleep standing up. We woke him up this morning, and got him standing, and within 5 seconds, he was out.
Jhon busted open a new game called Max Payne he got for his birthday, which kicks ass like an angry beaver (and they do kick ass). Think of everything good about Twin Peaks and Fight Club, and add in the bullet time effects from the Matrix, and you get one fucking awesome game.

Yeah, you betta' listen to T!

If there's any veterarians out there who know what to do about a hampster bite (yes, literally. Robert got bit by a hampster he bought from a pet store) like, any deadly diseases or anything, send us some info, coo? There's a story behind the bite, yes, but for me to tell - it be not; alas, I was not there for the hampster capades.

I'll post more tomorrow. I'm tired now, and I'm gonna go die.


butler // Saturday, December 15 @ 12:12 PM / McAllen

Can't get my ftp working.. Oh well it beats being in detention, being that it is run by Hitler and all.

Oh yeah, robert, you sure did "fail" didnt you. fucking bastard.


death spares not the rabid kangaroo // Friday, December 14 @ 9:22 AM / derrich
eh. woot. haven't posted in a while ... mainly because i'm so busy. work and school leave me little time to post random stuff here on el corp-o ... so i apologize. a few post worthy things have happened recently, i'm just far too lazy and tired to write them. but paul and i have started a project which could yeild very humorous results ... so we'll keep you posted.

all hail gilbert mcstuartson (oh, you'll see soon enough)


POOOOOOO!!!!!! // Wednesday, December 12 @ 8:21 PM / tom
MY phone lines are fucked up yet AGAIN, so this'll have to be breif.
According to jhon, people are disgusted by the idea of me taking a poo. WHAT THE HELL!!! It's fucking natural, people! Come on!!!
Anyway, while I go take that poo right out of my butthole that I so meticulously kept in my digestive tract until now, you can look at these wonderfully edited images (yet another present of Software Fucking Applications):

I get to stay home tomorrow, so no fun morning posts. Ah, well. I get to fucking STAY HOME, LOOOOOSSSAAAASSS!!!! YOW!


Lucid Anne // Wednesday, December 12 @ 4:21 PM / Jhon
I'm watching you......

So, Tom freaked quite a number of people out with his post about "pooing." Mwaha. Oh well. I think it's kinda funny, 'cause offending people is cool. For example, if I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Where was your God on September 11th?" I would laugh my ass off. However, a lot of people would be offended to the point of crying and asking for forgiveness.

Anyways, I found this, and I thought it was funny. I took it a while back at Tom's house. Quite convincing, eh?


Cam images are fun // Wednesday, December 12 @ 8:06 AM / tom
Damn, I've got to poo.

I hate pooing druing school, because, hey, its a school toilet. Have you ever taken a crap on a school toilet? If you haven't, go try. There's no tp, the floor is usually covered in old dried pee, and the windows next to the toilet are usually open so people can see in. I have this image of this guy walking past outside, coming over to the window, and offering me a cup of cappucino.... ugh...

--bucky says hi...he's the dreamiest!!!

Fuck you bucky. God damnit, I'm going to leave that in there, since your burning a copy of the cowboy bebop movie for me from your computer. If it wasn't for that, it would get edited to say this:

--bucky says hi...he's sucking my balls!!!

Wait, I might not have to poo. I think I can hold it till I get home at 4. I'll plug my butt with a cork.


Alisson Chanes // Wednesday, December 12 @ 5:41 AM / brian
Grindage Japanese style

Alice in Chains is the greatest band in the world. If you don't agree, please post your home address and phone number in the message board. Because Jhon and I will bug the nutty shit out of you. Up there is the lyrics for 'Grind' in Japanese. I just bought an import of 'Tripod' for 30 bucks since someone jacked my first copy, but I'm really not upset at them. They stole about 6-7 alice in chains CD's, so I consider it spreading the plague of the grooviest band ever to grace the radio waves.
Jerry and da boyz are the coolest bunch of dudes ever. Just czech out these manly photos of them. Welp, back to hibernation!


The Mayflower Compact // Tuesday, December 11 @ 4:33 PM / robert
oh god, well, my grandparents already think im a junkee, they make rude little comments to me like' hey, dont shoot up while your out', before i go somewhere now and stuff, and to make matters worse, i have a fucking 70 in history, which really isnt my fault, the grades of our class are crazy, i did half the work, and got a 70, Mcallen did NONE of the work, and got an 83. WHAT THE FUCK. well,chemistry is another subject, me and McAllen didnt turn in about 5 assignments, so our grades will probably be about a 50 or so. that really sucks. my grandparents are goin to deport me as jhon says. robert may be taking a trip to boot camp next semester.


Essays aren't fun // Tuesday, December 11 @ 7:54 AM / tom
I had an essay to do in English yesterday, so I chose an interesting topic. Since nobody's fucking posting, and the site seems to be getting low on content, I'm using up some space.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and Hamlet both are filled with sexual euphamisms. This can actually be seen as a microcosm for the entire world, which, if looked at from a certain point of view, can be seen as very sexual or sexually stimulating. Though Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead was not written by Shakespeare himself, it was still written about the characters in the original story. Therefore, the characters are still put forth as being very sexually active. While Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are both homosexuals, Hamlet is not, but does very actively use incest as a means for sexual intercourse with his mother. Both plays are very sexually stimulating, and each stimulates a different type of person.
There are many sexual euphamisms in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead as well as in Hamlet. Guildenstern once said, "Now mind your tongue, or we'll have it out and throw the rest of it away, like a nightingale at a Roman feast." During Shakespearean times, this actually meant, "Please be quiet, or we'll whip out our privates and use you as our sexual toy, like two active avian creatures." Shakespeare originally meant his play, Hamlet, to be about sex. This is why Tom Stoppard wrote Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead about sex as well.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are both homosexual. The Player in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead at one point says, "They are two sides of the same coin." What he truly means by this is that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are both homosexually attracted to each other. Hamlet is not homosexual, but has incest with his mother. After stabbing Polonius, Hamlet goes on to rape his mother on her bed.
Hamlet not only has a sexually stimulating incest scene, but also has many sexually active individuals in it, though the scenes are not shown in the actual play. The play that Hamlet selects to get the king to admit his truth is cut short because the king is so moved. However, the rest of the play is actually very pornographic.
Both plays are extremely sexual in different ways. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is sexually stimulating to homosexuals. It chronicles a story of two homosexuals who are on a mission from a king. Hamlet is sexually stimulating to heterosexuals as well as much of the southern United States. It shows incest as well as a dirty play within the play itself. No matter what peoples' sexual preferences are, they will be sexually stimulated by one of these plays.

Yes, I probably will NOT get a good grade for that. Robert, if you don't start posting, I'll kick your ass.


burrito // Monday, December 10 @ 5:08 PM / McAllen

What's up? This my first post and will probably be my only boring one like this...

who the fuck am i kidding


Better say this now... // Monday, December 10 @ 5:04 PM / tom
I'm making a 31 in calculus BC.
Yes, that's right, a 31.
It's just a progress report, but that doesn't really matter. The point is, my parents know, and they're REALLY ticked. I have a feeling I'm not going to be doing anything, including getting online, for a LONG time. Ah, well.